A Story About the Distance Between Hearts.

Sometimes, I feel like my heart and body are disconnected.

What I see, hear, eat, and write—my body takes it all in, yet my heart struggles to keep up.

Do you ever feel that way too?

Truly feeling what’s right in front of us is harder than it seems. There are times when the weight of the past or the uncertainty of the future crushes us, making it difficult to be present in the "now." Moments when we’re too exhausted from feeling—too drained from joy, sadness, or anger—to even notice that the present has become blurred, slipping by in a haze of unawareness. How often do we actually recognize the movements of our own hearts?

If it’s this difficult to keep my own heart close to my body, then maintaining the right emotional distance with others is even more complicated.

The moments when I fail to truly understand someone I thought I knew.

The sudden betrayal from a person I had expected to understand me.

Maybe I only thought I understood them. Maybe I had simply become lazy about keeping up with the ever-changing emotions of others.

Maybe it wasn’t a betrayal at all. Maybe love had just wandered off and forgotten the way home.

Even when my mind understands this, the emptiness left in my heart isn’t so easily filled.

Riding the morning train to work, I tell myself I’m overthinking, but as I look out at the New York skyline, standing just as tall as ever, the hollow space in my heart remains unchanged.

And because it remained, I decided to sit with it a little longer.

Loving someone is a choice.

It’s the quiet, daily effort of adjusting the emotional distance between two people—bringing hearts closer when they drift apart while also allowing enough space for each to remain themselves. It isn’t just about closeness; it’s about balance.

What does this person need at this moment? What words would bring them comfort? What gestures would make them feel supported? Finding the right emotional distance takes thoughtfulness and care.

Only recently have I started paying attention to these things.

In the past, I’d brush it off, saying, "I’m from Kansai, so I just break through barriers," carelessly closing the gap between myself and others. But lately, I’ve come to appreciate the beauty of well-measured space. Living in New York, especially, has made me realize how difficult it is to truly understand someone with different cultural values. I’ve learned that forcing my own worldview onto others isn’t connection—it’s intrusion.

Perhaps trust isn’t always about sharing everything. Maybe some bonds are built precisely because we leave certain things unsaid, because we choose to hold back, because we understand that not everything needs to be touched. Maybe, sometimes, love is about knowing when not to hurt each other unnecessarily.

Thinking this way helps me make peace with the relationships that didn’t work out in the past.

And if this is true, then before anything else, we must be honest with ourselves. We must not turn away from our own hearts. We must be patient with them, holding space for all that they carry, a home where our hearts can rest.

Is your heart close to you right now?

叶

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